BTL

BTL is a New York-based filmmaker and writer who listens to stuff for money – aka, works as a sound mixer and boom operator on movies, TV shows and commercials. She blogs anonymously not to build her own mystique (which she's been told she already oozes) but to make sure she gets her next job. BTL is currently working on a screenplay, a novel, and a documentary, none of which she can tell you anything about — but she can tell you that she likes travel, platform shoes, and bacon-infused bourbon.

The Identification of Uncle Irving
Second Hand Fame

Buy Flagyl no prescription, When I was eight, we moved to the suburbs and into a big, creaky, beige house. I got my own room, with my own walls on which I painted a giant rainbow above my bed (a move that I was to regret when I hit my teens, though not as much as my brother was to regret the rainforest wallpaper that he chose for his). We had a big yard where the neighborhood kids and I regularly smacked each other in the head with a tetherball and where I convinced the younger/gullible ones to act in brilliant super-8 melodramas -- as well as blocks of adjoining yards that we also claimed as our territory, buy cheap Flagyl no rx, and quiet streets on which I finally learned to ride a bike. These were something of a contrast to the streets of my former 'hood, Newark, Buy Flagyl without a prescription, where my dad had once been jumped while walking with me and my mother and brother by two guys who stole all of his Rolaids (like any native New Yorker, he never kept money in his back pockets).

For a long time, though, all of my dreams continued to take place in our old apartment, buying Flagyl online over the counter. Except it was never really our apartment, it was an unfamiliar endless series of dark rooms through which I would wander trying to find my favorite stuffed animal, a giant moth-eaten yellow felt mouse named Mousy, or, failing that, my parents, buy Flagyl no prescription. The dream I still remember best was the one where I arrived at those big picture windows, from which I'd always observed my favorite neon sign that flashed different colors as it urged you to buy cigarettes, and watched, Online buy Flagyl without a prescription, terrified, as the city went up in flames. Oh, and GI Joe was there, still with plastic hair but life-sized, Flagyl from canadian pharmacy, and he was somehow responsible. The main feelings behind these dreams, though, Order Flagyl from mexican pharmacy, was not knowing how I got there or what to do -- reflecting, of course, my nascent confusion about life in these strange new environs called suburbia. Eventually, my subconscious and I settled in and the stress dreams became about things like the wiener dog in the yard next door who was now the bane of my existence, where to buy Flagyl, except it had a yellow balloon for a body that allowed it to fly through the air as it chased me down the street, yapping.

[caption id="attachment_1527" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Scary unfamiliar dreamscapes from hell."]Scary unfamiliar dreamscapes from hell. Buy Flagyl no prescription, [/caption]

Why was I even having stress dreams at eight years old, you may ask. Well, Purchase Flagyl online, the ability to generate free-floating anxiety has always been one of my special skills. Back then, it floated around being liked at my new school or nuclear war or having some weird disease (I was permanently traumatized by catching a piece of The Andromeda Strain when it was broadcast on television in 1973), or the newly-discovered factoid that my parents were going to die some day. These days, kjøpe Flagyl på nett, köpa Flagyl online, it hovers between having no work or too much work, my documentary, my IRA, Buy generic Flagyl, and the fact that my parents are still going to die some day. As a result, insomnia quickly became another one of my special skills. And when I do sleep, I have these kinds of dreams, buy Flagyl no prescription.

They're not the only dreams I have, of course, Flagyl samples. I do occasionally have the good sensual dream, where you're making out with Jude Law, and while you're disappointed that you have to wake up, Ordering Flagyl online, it does make you want to have morning sex -- which can be either good or bad depending on the situation. I also do sometimes have the ambiguous happy dream, when you wake up feeling like all is right with the world but can't for the life of you remember why. In fact, for years, where can i buy cheapest Flagyl online, I've only remembered maybe a third of my dreams. Buy Flagyl no prescription, I heard once that if you write them down as soon as you wake up, you'll remember them, so I tried that once and it worked: I remembered I'd had a dream about taking a bus trip with some of my high school friends. I even remembered some of the visuals, like who was wearing the lime green sweater. Australia, uk, us, usa, But when I looked at what I'd written down, it was way more detailed and bizarre, with scrawled phrases like, "And then Peter wanted to pet the cat named Pinocchio." Plus, if you already aren't a great sleeper, online buying Flagyl hcl, there's nothing like having to get up and grope around for a pen and the back of an envelope on which to write down the details of a nightmare where you're buried in a snowdrift and being attacked by sharks to keep you awake for the rest of the night. So I kind of stopped doing that.

For a long time, Purchase Flagyl, most of my stress dreams were school-related. I arrive late for the big math test or the SATs and I haven't studied or didn't even know there was a test, and I don't have a pen, or I have a pencil but it keeps breaking, or I can't find a seat, or a test, or my hands are covered in peanut butter, buy Flagyl no prescription. And at least part of the time, I'm also naked and trying to hide behind or under the desk. Everyone has these dreams in one variation or another. The only unique one I can remember was when, order Flagyl no prescription, around the time I was finishing film school, I dreamed I was back at my college graduation, frantically trying to find my place in this endless line of people in robes and mortarboards that snaked up a very Gothic-looking spiral staircase, Real brand Flagyl online, when a woman – who oddly enough looked like Condoleeza Rice – found me and put me in the right place. It's the only stress dream I can ever remember having that had a happy ending. Buy Flagyl no prescription, In keeping with my pre-established tradition of dreaming in the past, these nightmares continued to receive a high volume of play -- like Bravo reality shows do -- long after my school days were over. Then, at some point, my stress dreams became mostly about work, buy cheap Flagyl. I'm on set and suddenly I realize I have no equipment, or my recorder has stopped working and I have no tape and the radio mics aren't working, or I have to go somewhere to find batteries and I can't find them and then I can't find my way back for hours, Order Flagyl online c.o.d, knowing all the while that everyone back on set is waiting on me, or I'm being forced to work with a Nagra 3 (yes, that experience is a nightmare all unto itself). Of course, all of these catastrophes have happened to me, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, even the part about being lost trying to find my way back to set; those Law & Order soundstages at Chelsea Piers are one giant maze of prop rooms. But they have never all happened at the same time, or while I'm naked – which, Buy Flagyl from canada, yes, also continued to pop up from time to time. It's interesting how in most of these dreams I'm recording sound onto tape, very often reel-to-reel analog, buy Flagyl no prescription. But of course it makes sense, not only because it's consistent with the stress dream time lag, but because the most horrible memories of my career come from that time when I was first starting out as a sound mixer, buy Flagyl online no prescription, had no clue what I was doing, and still thought floppy disks were was as far as technology was going to go. I remember my first job recording on a feature, Where can i find Flagyl online, for instance, when I had to do a scene on a beach and all I was getting was wind noise and radio mic interference. I called my former sound teacher in a panic and he calmly told me that I'd have to have the production rent me something called a "windjammer." It worked like a charm. Which, I now know, Flagyl trusted pharmacy reviews, is why, while they may call it "the dog" or "the rat," every single sound person I've ever met has one of these furry zeppelin covers in his or her kit.

[caption id="attachment_1528" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="And who hasn't had a nightmare about evil clowns?"]And who hasn't had a nightmare about evil clowns? Buy Flagyl no prescription, [/caption]

A few years ago, I started taking some long trips in foreign countries. Order Flagyl from United States pharmacy, Somewhere during that time, the stress dreams about traveling took over. Sure, I'd still have the occasional boom pole breaking or hitting a light causing it to explode into flame dream, and even the I've completely forgotten to take the one class I needed for graduation dream, purchase Flagyl online. But more often, it's that I've have missed the right bus or gotten on the wrong bus and every time I try to speak the language my tongue swells up, or I'm driving around with my back seat full people I don't really like (generally because they make me neurotic) trying not to let them know that I actually have no idea where I'm going and narrowly avoiding several accidents, Where can i buy cheapest Flagyl online, or I'm at some seriously awful dive hotel where the walls are filthy and the sheets are just crawling with roaches and scorpions, but I have to stay there because I can't find my luggage. Again, all of this is reality-based stuff; I have missed plenty of buses, found cockroaches in my sheets and boots and toiletries (I was staying in a swamp at the time), real brand Flagyl online, and been on a few road trips with people I never should have gone on road trips with.

And this is the thing that makes my nightmare life especially unpleasant if not particularly complicated, buy Flagyl no prescription. As you can tell, I dream very close to the top of my brain. Buy Flagyl online no prescription, Sure, sometimes I get into wacky territory, like where I'm having a tea party with Godzilla (too many Japanese monster movies in my youth), but most of the time, it's very clear to me where my dreams come from and what they're about, buy no prescription Flagyl online. These were all stressful situations for me, even if I successfully survived them. Moreover, Buy Flagyl from canada, as I mentioned earlier, the anxiety is basically mix-and-match, so that the math test dream is still, really, about being afraid that I'm going to fail at my job, where can i buy Flagyl online, and the travel dream is really about not knowing where I'm going with my life. Buy Flagyl no prescription, And being naked, in any situation, is just about being afraid that people will see these insecurities underneath my calm exterior, along with all of my flaws and shortcomings, and will find them either appalling or laughable. I mean, as much as I like to think of myself as a complex and nuanced person, Fast shipping Flagyl, it's not deep, it's Freud 101 at best. Maybe that means that, thanks to years of therapy, my subconscious and conscious minds are separated only by one layer of nerves that has been worn thin and cranky, order Flagyl from mexican pharmacy. Or maybe it means that I was a more interesting person when I was eight.

It's funny, though, that after my last trip abroad, the travel stress dreams seem not to have started up again in force, as I would have expected. In fact, they seem to have stopped, buy Flagyl no prescription. And they haven't been replaced by work stress dreams or school dreams, both of which have also tapered off a lot. Not that I haven't been having nightmares. The other night I had one about being lost in a modern art museum where I had to put back all of these pieces of art that my nephews had managed to roll (they all seemed to be round) into the wrong galleries, while keeping track and taking care of the little boys because they were both sick and seemed to have shrunk in size, making them even harder to keep track of than little boys usually are. I think this probably had something to do with my anxiety about my ability to juggle work and family, and potential future childrearing. Buy Flagyl no prescription, Again, not very hard to interpret, and excellent fodder for hours and hours of unproductive worrying. But on the positive side, maybe my subconscious has decided that work and travel and school are no longer the fodder as they used to be, and has therefore found new issues to mull.

Now if only I could get my conscious and unconscious to cooperate a little more, like I somehow did with that reassuring dream about graduation and Condi. Although I still, for the life of me, don't get it. Why would that nightmare, where I'm chasing my place through the endlessly spiraling existential line of life, end with me finding it. What does my subconscious know that I don't.

And it better not be that my destiny lies in becoming a Republican, because that's not going to happen.

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Shit Happens

Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, Have you ever been held captive, in some horribly dirty and cramped space not fit for human beings, where you were deprived of sleep, forced to stand and perhaps not allowed to go to the bathroom (if there even is a bathroom) for long periods of time, and forced to eat whatever somewhat food-related substance they put in front of you.

No, I'm not talking about Guantanamo. I'm talking about an average day in the world of film production.

I suppose that this is why one of the favorite pastimes of a film crew is complaining – about the incompetence of the production that's trying to fit way too many shots into a day, purchase Lipotrexate online no prescription, or doesn't have the equipment you need, or sticks you and 35 other people in a tiny apartment building in a bad neighborhood where people who don't want you there throw things out the window at you when you use your free 5 minutes of downtime to go outside to breathe; about how they're trying to screw you out of overtime/kit rental/having a weekend (there is a term that has officially entered the crew vocabulary called "Fraturday," which I think was coined by the crew on a job on which every Friday inevitably ended sometime on Saturday – probably The Sopranos, Order Lipotrexate online overnight delivery no prescription, ); or about the shoot scapegoat, that one person who drives everyone just a little crazy and therefore bears the brunt of the general hatred for humanity that bubbles up when you spend 16 hours a day with the same people.

But the number one target of complaints, bar none. The food, buy Lipotrexate no prescription.

Back when I worked on independent films, where to buy Lipotrexate, these complaints were extremely well-deserved. Although I didn't realize it at first because I was coming from film school, where if your classmates rewarded you for your hard if semi-incompetent labor with sludgy/crunchy deli coffee and bologna on Wonder Bread, Rx free Lipotrexate, you would take it and like it. (And you would then punish them with similar treatment when it was their turn to work on your film – HA!) But gradually I came to see that my indie film crewmates had a point when they got disgruntled at having yesterday's canned green beans turn up, mixed with yesterday's rice and something unidentifiable that made it all stick together, as today's entrée. Especially when there was little or nothing to eat between meals at craft service other than the stale bagels leftover from breakfast, online buy Lipotrexate without a prescription, and nobody really had time to go find something else to eat and wolf it down during a half-an-hour lunch, even if they could eke something out of their $400-a-week salary to do so and weren't shooting on, say, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, an island in Maine somewhere a good 50 miles from even the nearest Whopper. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, Plus, I discovered that complaining was part of the bonding experience. It was what you did while you rode to location together in the van in the morning, or waited for the set to be lit, or over beers at Blue & Gold or Lucy's or whatever podunk bar you could find at the end of the day.

[caption id="attachment_292" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Before."]Before.[/caption]

So I became a complainer too. And as I got better at my job, I also got really, Purchase Lipotrexate online, really good at complaining. I eventually even got to the point where, by week three or so of a shoot, I was telling production to their faces how much the way they were treating us sucked, buy Lipotrexate no prescription. Once, I got so sick of the combination of Pringles and Little Debbie cakes on offer at craft service that I went out and bought bags of fruit for the entire crew and showed the production manager the $10.00 receipt, which embarrassed her into realizing that, for the same amount of money, purchase Lipotrexate, human beings could actually be fed something other than saturated fat and high-fructose corn syrup. Of course she never hired me again, but I was fine with that because by then I'd decided I never wanted to see any of those people again, Online buying Lipotrexate hcl, ever. I admit it: working on low-budgets turned me into something of a hater.

Then I moved up – or at least over – to episodic television, where the catering was marginally better. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, For one thing, they always had hot food; no more donuts for breakfast – not unless you wanted donuts, which usually remained an option, 'cause you have to keep the Teamsters happy. And when you need to have hot food on location, canada, mexico, india, you get to experience the exciting phenomenon of the catering truck. There's something about a catering truck that makes you feel like you're really on, like, Buy Lipotrexate without a prescription, a set, with, you know, professionals. Probably because the catering truck tends to come with between 5 and 15 other trucks full of gear – lighting & grip, where can i buy cheapest Lipotrexate online, camera & sound, honeywagons with bathrooms (bathrooms. Cleaned daily!) and even trailers containing bonafide – or not so bonafide – stars. Once you've got a catering truck, in other words, you know you're in a different league, buy Lipotrexate no prescription. Kjøpe Lipotrexate på nett, köpa Lipotrexate online, Which is cool, until you realize that there hasn't been much improvement in the actual food. Maybe this shouldn't be a surprise, considering it was cooked in a truck. One that generally emits such an overwhelming smell of grease and charred protein matter that it makes me glad I'm too short to look over the edge of that little window and glimpse what goes on in there, fast shipping Lipotrexate. I mean tacos, kabobs, ice cream – by all means, Australia, uk, us, usa, give me a truck. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, But sole almondine. Still, there tends to be at least a complete meal guaranteed when you eat episodic. There will definitely be a starch, a cooked vegetable, real brand Lipotrexate online, a salad, some vegetarian entrée, which could be the aforementioned starch, Where can i order Lipotrexate without prescription, redefined as needed, and some protein, which will be chicken. That's not an absolute rule, the chicken part, order Lipotrexate from United States pharmacy, but it's close enough that when joining the catering line –- which forms either at the truck itself or in some church basement or Elks Lodge accommodating serving tables where the food can be dumped into large aluminum pans kept nicely tepid by cans of Sterno –- you will inevitably hear at least one person joke, "What's for chicken?"

[caption id="attachment_293" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="After. (They called it 'sweet and sour, Buy no prescription Lipotrexate online, ' but to me it just looked scary.)"]After, <b>buy Lipotrexate no prescription</b>.  (They called it 'sweet and sour,' but to me it just looked scary.)[/caption]

I think this gets at the root of why crew people complain so much: on any given workday, we have very little control over anything. Somebody else dictates what time we have to show up, buy cheap Lipotrexate, and where, what we have to do when we get there, how many times we have to do it and when we can leave. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, They decide when we'll eat and what and who makes it and when and how. I suppose that, because it's not intended to be punitive, it's really less like being a prisoner than it is like being a child. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, So we whine, we rebel, we tell stupid jokes, we stick to our little cliques and refuse to let other ones use our C-stands (yes, grip clique, I'm talking about YOU). Because it seems like the normal thing to do when your parents are pissing you off, ordering Lipotrexate online.

Even now that I've moved up, or at least on, at least most of the time, Buying Lipotrexate online over the counter, to working mostly in commercials, where the food tends to be much better (think about it: if you've got the same amount to spend on 30 seconds that some poor shmuck of an indie film producer has to spend on 90 minutes, who's going to have more disposable income?), people still complain. Granted, buy Lipotrexate online no prescription, there are some awful commercial caterers, like the notorious and now defunct T&A, who learned the secrets of their craft preparing fine meals for the U.S. Buy generic Lipotrexate, military, who seemed to like to serve their vegetables flaccid and black – including the iceberg lettuce – and everything, including the lettuce, coated with American cheese, but who were so nice and so cheap that they managed to stay in business for far, Lipotrexate over the counter, far too long; or Y-Cats, the caterers who think that anything potentially edible can be improved by sprinkling it with lots of oregano and/or mini marshmallows. But in general, at a typical work lunch I can now choose from salad with homemade sesame or Dijon vinaigrette, sautéed broccoli rabe, roasted potatoes with rosemary, pasta with fresh mozzerella, basil and tomatoes, Chilean sea bass with a wasabi-soy glaze, sliced skirt steak with chimmichurri sauce, and homemade strawberry rhubarb cobbler with fresh whipped cream for dessert, buy Lipotrexate no prescription. But that's still only two choices each of vegetable, Order Lipotrexate online c.o.d, starch, and protein, and only one dessert – meaning that inevitably you will hear somebody on line say, "Fuckin' sea bass again?" or, "Rich is the caterer, Lipotrexate from canadian pharmacy. I'm not eating, everything he makes has so much butter!" Actually, what they more often say is, Lipotrexate trusted pharmacy reviews, "Rich is the caterer. I'm not eating because that man spits in the food." Which may or may not be true but people say it because Rich is just your basic all-around asshole, the kind of person who loves to watch me approach the chocolate mousse and then say, because he knows I'm lactose intolerant, "You can't eat that, where can i buy Lipotrexate online, Stick Chick, it's all dairy!" And then laugh maniacally.

But I don't complain about the food any more. Buy Lipotrexate no prescription, I like food and I love free stuff (as some of you may already know), so a decently-cooked free meal, even if it's not what I would have ordered that particular day, would have to work pretty hard to be a bad thing in my book. Order Lipotrexate from mexican pharmacy, Plus, at some point, complaining just got boring – especially when I realized that complaining about the things you can't control makes you feel more like a helpless little kid, not less. I suppose I finally figured out that, buy Lipotrexate without prescription, as a rule for life in general, you can complain about the chicken, or you can eat it. Buy cheap Lipotrexate no rx, (And write an anonymous blog about it).

And – there's always breakfast. At breakfast on a commercial or a movie, you can actually go to the truck and order just about whatever you want, made to order: eggs any style with a variety of cheese and vegetable options, buy Lipotrexate from canada, ham or bacon or sausage and sometimes turkey bacon or sausage, 2-3 kinds of toast, pancakes or waffles, not to mention a selection of fruit, cereals, muffins, coffee or tea, caf or decaf. So if I arrive at work feeling like an omelet with smoked salmon, onions and capers, or a waffle with strawberries and blueberries and lots of syrup, or a breakfast burrito with eggs scrambled with spinach, mushrooms, onions, turkey sausage and a little – just a little – bit of cheese (because what's life without cheese?), and no salsa, that is what I get. And even if it's thrown at me from inside the truck with a, "There you go, Stick Chick!", for the five minutes I get to scarf it down it before somebody shouts, "We're in!", I'm a happy person.

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