Eric Eicher

Bill Cosby once said this on a long-ago comedy album: "I started out as a child." As it turns out, Eric Eicher did, too. In the years since, he's somehow become, among other things, a father, a teacher, a writer, and a sleight-of-hand performer, with a Master's in English from the University of California at Berkeley and a doctorate in English from the University of Kansas. His major literary interests are Shakespeare (especially King Lear), the essay, and the nonsense of Stephen Leacock and Edward Lear.

This Thing Of Dogness...

Order Prozac over the counter, My parents asked us to dinner maybe a month ago.  After we ate, I started telling them--believe it or not, my mother, at least, likes to hear this kind of thing--about an old t.v. show transcript that I'd stumbled onto recently: a Nova program from 1981 called "It's About Time."  I mentioned a couple things from it that fascinated me--like that the speed of light may be the only really static thing in the universe, since everything else, even space, buy generic Prozac, even time, sometimes jiggles in surprising ways.  I also told them how the show ended--with the actor playing St. Buy no prescription Prozac online, Augustine, an early western thinker about time, saying, just as the real St, buy Prozac without prescription. Augustine had written in his Confessions centuries before, that as long as nobody asked him what time was, Buy cheap Prozac no rx, he knew, but as soon as someone did, he didn't.

My dad said that sounded like what my five year-old son, purchase Prozac online no prescription, Lear, had recently told him about some of the magic tricks the boy makes up all the time: "These are the kind of tricks that are better if you don't watch them." Now looking back, Purchase Prozac online, it's kind of hard to get that joke, but that night it played funny, the conversation blew up, and Lear smiled.  Yet as I started thinking later, comprar en línea Prozac, comprar Prozac baratos, time is maybe the opposite of those tricks of Lear's, since if you think of time as being somehow trick-like, Online buying Prozac hcl, as I'd go on to discover that a great many people have through the centuries, it strikes me as a kind of trick that gets better, as in spookier, the closer you watch.  To slightly warp a line from John Mellencamp's new (and terrific) album, Prozac from canadian pharmacy, one of the best sustained meditations on mortality that I've ever seen (or heard):  "[Time] is an abstraction, and it tries to fool us all / And it's working so far, Where can i find Prozac online, it seems."

He actually wrote that line to be about the trickiness of "Life," but it applies to "Time" just as well, not least because time and life are so often impossible to shake apart.  Both are not only weirder than we suppose, but weirder than we can suppose, order Prozac no prescription, to slightly skew what J.B.S. Haldane said about life in Possible Worlds and Other Papers, over eight decades ago, order Prozac over the counter. If I really don't have time, Online buy Prozac without a prescription, I have nothing else on earth, either, of course, but in what sense do I really ever have something that I can't in any way quantify and the last of which could disappear, buying Prozac online over the counter, literally in a heartbeat, without so much as a funny-paper "poof"?  My heart could pop like bubble gum before I finish typing this line. Purchase Prozac, Or not (old joke). George Santayana:  "The essence of nowness runs like the fire along the fuse of time, but the particular spark is different at each point."  Until with a bang, a flash, Prozac price, coupon, the whistling fffffffft. of a dud firecracker, Kjøpe Prozac på nett, köpa Prozac online, some other noise or no noise at all, now becomes then.  For well over a decade, I've had it bouncing around in my head that I someday wanted to write something that would start roughly like this (who knows if I'll ever get that done, and it seems to fit here):  "Time's the big trick, buy Prozac online no prescription, the one nobody jumps.  They've tried to say what time is.  They were wrong, and you know it.  I'll say what time is--time's what you don't have."

And it was cheerful thoughts like these, Prozac for sale, relaunched by that random talk over cherry cobbler, that pulled me back into the wake of what Twelfth Night's Feste calls "the whirligig of time."  Few things in my life have made me feel like I'm fading faster than getting an inkling of how much has been said and written about time--but once you start toying around in Timeland, it's hard to stop.  A Shakespeare professor once pointed out in a class I took that it's no one's imagination--Shakespeare's plays really do work very hard to keep from being explained away, to stay, where can i order Prozac without prescription, to varying degrees, irreducibly mysterious.  That seems a bias that Shakespeare--often seen as the "Mother Nature's Son" of poets (John Milton, Prozac over the counter, for instance, wrote in "L'Allegro" of him "warbl[ing] his native wood-notes wild")--might have borrowed from life, which features a seemingly built-in, time-bound tendency to defuse any conclusive wrap up of its ultimate workings and meaning, buy no prescription Prozac online, whether wryly absurdist, deeply religious, Where to buy Prozac, or something in between.  But as impossible as finding the provably "ultimate answer" is, it's just as impossible for humans not to look for one.  In the end, if not long before, once, where can i buy cheapest Prozac online, if not many times, we each take a leap at understanding life's ways--a leap of faith, Buy cheap Prozac, of "logic," of lunacy, or of some other stripe, entirely.  But a leapless life, order Prozac from mexican pharmacy, lived with the seamlessly defensible "good sense" of a syllogism, is simply not a live option on Planet E., Ordering Prozac online, as much as we might like it to be.  And that's largely thanks to the way what Pythagoras calls "the soul of this world, " time, eerily floats by:  time, the great unknowable that makes us, fast shipping Prozac, shapes us, glides us onward, Where can i buy Prozac online, upward, and ultimately elsewhere--time, the mystery through which we move. Order Prozac over the counter, Among the fascinating flashes that have leapt out in these last few dizzying weeks, as I spent every spare moment of an otherwise vexing stretch reading and thinking about time, were these:  "Dinosaurs are real but our death is not," at least based on the the-past-is-real-but-the-future-is-not premise that underprops the growing-universe theory; Benjamin Lee Whorf's famous study of the Hopi culture incredibly reveals that their language somehow works while containing "no words, grammatical forms, construction or expressions that refer directly to what we call 'time,' or to past, present, or future...,"which gave me a funny kind of hope; and the recent work of physicist Carlo Rovelli reprises in a scientific context a concept long popular in religions, ranging from Buddhism to Christian Science and beyond, namely that time is nothing more than a trick of the mind:  "At realities deepest level, then, it remains unknown whether time will hold strong or melt away like a Salvador Dali clock."  As the Amanda Gefter article where that quotation appears, "Is Time An Illusion?," adds, though thinking about time is taxing, if Rovelli is correct, and "Time is the effect of our ignorance," when and if we ever really understand how it works, "time might simply disappear."

[caption id="attachment_1116" align="alignnone" width="335" caption=""Moment Of Explosion" by Salvador Dali (1954)"]"Moment Of Explosion" by Salvador Dali (1954)[/caption]

Which brings us almost back to where we started--to Time as Trick, now a type of trick that we accidentally play on ourselves because our minds are simply too limited to do otherwise; in this view, "time is all a matter of perspective--not a feature of reality but a result of [our] missing information about reality."  But do such approaches stretch the concept of "trick"--or in the case of this article's title, "illusion"--until it snaps?  The effects of time, whatever time is, are surely no one's imagination, making time a funny kind of trick (except in certain religious contexts, where the whole visible world is cast as a kind of trick-driven parody of paradise).  Years ago, I saw a fragment of a very old movie called The Miracle Man, from which only like eleven seconds survive.  In those seconds, a fake healing inspires the startling real healing of a crippled boy.  If time is just a trick, are its everyday effects, which all of us see every day, quasi-miracles that time's trickery somehow makes leap to life?  Alternately, Arthur Clarke has argued that "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"; if so, maybe an arcane science, intrinsic to the fabric of the physical world itself, somehow enables what time does; or maybe in the same way that I've read that light shows signs of simultaneously being both a particle and a wave--or of flickering back and forth from one state to the other with incalculable speed--time somehow does something similar, instantaneously flashing from one state to the other like a neon light every split second, a reality one instant, "just an idea" the next.  Who knows.  But one thing I'm certain of--as weird and unlikely as those random thoughts likely sound, the reality of how time works, knowable or not, is far weirder.

What does feel trick-like to me, where time is concerned--and since I can't yet articulate all this fully, please briefly grant me the Magic 8 Ball's wry license to let the reasons slide--are the clownish means we use to make us feel like we somehow have time tamed, the bewildering jumble of competing calendars and clocks, rx free Prozac, most of which relate to the near-infinite complexity of time's passing as the ape-thrown bone relates to the fantastical space ship it suddenly loops up and becomes in 2001: A Space Odyssey.  As I was recently reminded, when featured in ads, Prozac trusted pharmacy reviews, the hands of clocks are very frequently set for 10:10, not because, as many apparently sincerely believe, that was the time that Lincoln and/or King and/or Kennedy was killed, buy Prozac online cod, nor entirely for practical reasons, such as best displaying the features of a given watch, Buy Prozac without a prescription, but so that the clocks' faces will  appear to smile, making the watches and clocks for sale look happy, once someone had decided that the old default display time, 8:20, real brand Prozac online, had made clocks look too "frowny."  That practice provides a living metaphor for how our culture likes to treat time (also notable is the way the term "timepiece" seems to imply obliquely that whatever watch I have on, which I could just as well just have fished out of a box of Lucky Charms, is somehow made of the self-same numinous stuff whose ineffable flow it plays at chronicling).  But all those "untimely" monkeyshines aside, whether he'd have agreed or not, I think William Faulkner got it exactly right in The Sound and the Fury:  "Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life."

Among the uncountable ways that I'm no St. Augustine,  there's the fact that I never plan to write a book called Confessions, but I have one to make now.  Also unlike Augustine, I don't begin to know what time is, even when nobody asks me, as what you've just read proves.  But I think that may be less true of my son.  Not long before he faded from three to four, he surprised me by telling me why he'd been upset and refused to talk while we'd walked home together from preschool that day:  "I was mad because I don't want to get older.  It's not special to me, and it's not fair."

Those words reminded me of another child who "knew that she must grow up.  You always know when you are two.  Two is the beginning of the end."  I was amazed that my young son, who had never even seen Disney's candy-coated version of the boy who could fly, let alone the one-of-a-kind book that J.M. Barrie's words above come from, had independently come to such a striking conclusion, at an age when I was still getting my church pants pockets gummed shut with Silly Putty, which I could never quite remember to stick back into the plastic egg.

Like probably anyone who's ever read Wordsworth's wonderful little poem about a person who hopes his heart will always leap up when he sees a rainbow, just as it did when he was a kid, I've wondered what the line, "The Child is the Father of the Man," could mean.  Maybe, I now think, things like this:  the Child just squarely faces what the Man scribbles silly essays not to see.



Rabbit image by Mykl Roventine.

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Buy Zometa no prescription, An egg---and by an egg, I just mean a hen's egg, the only kind most people I know have ever seen---looks kind of magic just sitting there, a mysterious, lopsided moon of a beast.

Once snatched from its mother, if it somehow ducks being breakfast, it waits for its blankness to be painted, Fast shipping Zometa, dyed, and/or graffitied, so that a Magic Rabbit can hide it for human kids to find and play with (could that story be weirder?). Both a popular folk rhyme^ and a Timeless Children's Classic testify to the egg's whimsical and wildly breakable nature. Like in the old riddle (which is really about a nut), ordering Zometa online, the inside of each egg is a place that no human eye has ever seen before, so if some small, long-gone thing can reappear there, Buy Zometa no prescription,  well, that can be amazing, since its very nature seems to defy all but superhuman tinkering. And in the eyes of a child, when a raw egg suddenly has "a great fall, Zometa trusted pharmacy reviews," it can be like a cool little cartoon kind of jumps from nowhere by surprise, happily splashing real goo. Is it any wonder that most kids like such a highly-mythologized-yet-everywhere object as that, buy Zometa no prescription.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="204" caption=""It's like they're suddenly seeing a friend show up, Zometa for sale, somebody they feel like they already know and like.""]ghost potato[/caption]

I'm doing a series of magic shows for kids at some Kansas libraries this summer. Luckily for me, at least from a crowd control point of view, most kids under twelve don't travel far alone, so there are also some parents, buy generic Zometa, grandparents, library staff, and lonely humans of all kinds, Where can i buy cheapest Zometa online,   there. Performing for such a mixed audience of kids is kind of like performing for a crowd of happy drunks, since as many have noticed, kids in different age ranges have their own distinctive ways of behaving in public, some of which they share with booze-addled adults, purchase Zometa, at least when it comes to watching magic tricks.

The crowds have been bigger than I'd guessed they'd be and might actually make it into the thousands before the summer ends, based on the numbers where I've already been, Buy Zometa online cod, which would be nothing at all to a big-name performer but is somewhat astonishing to me. Buy Zometa no prescription, I've done magic shows for decades, but before now, I've always tried to skip kids shows as much as I could, since I didn't like the kinds of tricks that I thought were the only kind kids really liked--noisy, prefab feats straight from magic store shelves, featuring all kinds of big stupid props, usually capped with the woozy appearance of a woozier white rabbit. Kids often do like such tricks, at least in the right hands, and they almost always like rabbits, just about no matter what, australia, uk, us, usa, so if you're up for all the amazing nonsense that goes into making such critters materialize, you can't go too far wrong. But I'm learning that, Buying Zometa online over the counter, if presented in the right way, kids can like sleight of hand tricks a lot, too, and that's the wonderful luck that I'm starting to build on now.

[caption id="attachment_59" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="David Kaye, purchase Zometa online no prescription, aka Silly Billy"]David Kaye[/caption]

Despite the common wisdom among many kids' show magicicans that what matters most when doing magic for kids is that you have a jillion wacky comic bits built into the show, not how magical the actual tricks are---it's how much fun you can scare up getting there, not where you actually go, Zometa from canadian pharmacy, or so that story goes---what the kids I've been meeting want most from me is something that they're surprised to see for at least that (please snap your fingers here) long. They do like to laugh, of course, so humor is important to just about any show for kids. But all kinds of things in life are funny to them all the time, and most kids do a lot of laughing, anyway, buy Zometa no prescription. What they really want from magicians, buy Zometa online cod, almost uniquely, though, whether a given trickster is funny or not, Where can i order Zometa without prescription, is happy flashes of weirdness, at once cartoon-like and real, during which the facts of the world, at least for awhile, don't win, Zometa samples. (Now that I think about it, that's what most adults who like magic tricks want, too). Buy Zometa online no prescription, And the wildly strong desire that maybe 90% of kids at  a magic show have to get up onstage and play a hands-on part in the tricks they see is often linked, I believe, to wanting a close-quarters, eye-witness stripe of proof that the exciting possibilities that seem to jump from what they're seeing are maybe for real, not just odd optical illusions, Zometa trusted pharmacy reviews, spun from distance and tricks of the light.

So as much as I plan to continue learning to integrate all the varied elements that nearly ninety years of secular children's magic have shown to make kids like tricks more, especially as distilled in David Kaye's (Silly Billy's) Seriously Silly, Ordering Zometa online, I simultaneously want to be slowly morphing the tricks I do until, unlike the case with most kids shows, virtually nobody watching, even most magicians (should there ever happen to be any there) will be able to decipher how the tricks are done. Buy Zometa no prescription, Believe it or not, no matter what trick you might have floating in your head as a perfect example of just how stupid magic tricks can be, there are magicians out there somewhere right now who can do whatever idiot old thing you're thinking of in a way that would astonish you. Most people imagine there to be a one-to-one correspondence between tricks and the ways that they're done. But most tricks can, Zometa for sale, in fact, be done in God's plenty of ways, ranging from the silly to the sublime--even though most magicians, Where to buy Zometa, for all kinds of reasons, never get nearly as far from the silly as they could.

Enter the egg. I've been thinking for many moons about how to use eggs in magic tricks. But sadly, buy Zometa from mexico, with the streak o' shows I've been hired to do slightly more than half over, I'm still toying with what parts eggs can/can't

play, so they'll likely have to wait until another season to make it into the show.  When kids see a trick involving a "real-life prop, Buy Zometa no prescription, " like eggs, or lemons--or a giant real potato with two faded old, sky blue, Mr Potato Head eyes stuck in it, like the one that appears in my shows--it's like they're suddenly seeing a friend show up, Zometa over the counter, somebody they feel like they already know and like, since even the potato's toy eyes, like a fake moustache on your mom, Purchase Zometa, fool nobody.

[caption id="attachment_49" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="Dariel Fitzkee"]Dariel Fitzkee[/caption]

But when an egg makes an offbeat appearance, unlike most other fruits and vegetables, which you can just let kids briefly handle onstage to prove that they're for real, there is an added complication, since just about the only way that plays from the stage to prove that an egg is really an egg is to break it into a clear glass, and the second you do that, Elvis instantly leaves the building, since with very few exceptions, what's left of the egg after its broken, as effective a climax as that act makes to many tricks, is pretty sleight-of-hand proof, buy Zometa no prescription. So routining even a quick series of egg tricks is far trickier than it may at first appear, since the ultimate power of many of them relies on the same piece of one-time-only "ocular proof," to steal Othello's famous phrase.

[caption id="attachment_146" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="Kids, order Zometa online overnight delivery no prescription, tricks. Mediations on ownership of same."]Kids, tricks.  <b>Canada, mexico, india</b>, Mediations on ownership of same.[/caption]

So I've been reading all I can about egg tricks, and of the many I've stumbled upon, the three sources I like the best, just in case you'd like to play the home version of our game, are these: Eggstraordinary Ways of Exhibiting With Eggs, buy no prescription Zometa online, by Joseph Ovette (1932), The Strange Inventions of Dr Ervin, by Dariel Fitzkee (1937), Where can i find Zometa online, and The Encyclopedia of Egg Magic, by Donato Colucci (2002).  In those three books, alone, are dozens of fascinating oosporic conjurations, stretching from the likes of The Chameleon Egg (Ovette), buy generic Zometa, to Egg and Lemon (Fitzkee), to The Confetti Egg and The Spooky Egg (both in Colucci). Buy Zometa no prescription, So since you just keep asking, based on those sources and other scattered writings, here's roughly what I'd ultimately like to do with an egg, at least as I type this. In the 1960s and maybe before, Order Zometa no prescription, Davenport's Magic in London sold a version of the torn and restored paper (you know, the trick where something is ripped up, then somehow unripped again) that revolved around the Humpty Dumpty story. As luck would have it, I recently tracked down a copy of that trick being sold by a retiring British magician, buy Zometa without prescription, as well as, in another source, a version of that routine that climaxes with the startling production of a real egg from the restored picture. Purchase Zometa online, The egg that appears is decorated to match the Humpty Dumpty picture used in the ripped-poof!-unripped trick just mentioned, so the original description has you use a boiled egg, which you then give to the child who helped you with the trick, ostensibly for him/her to eat.

Since that move feels a little law suit-happy to me, where can i buy cheapest Zometa online, circa 2009, I'd rather produce a raw egg, scribbled up to look like Humpty, Buy Zometa without a prescription, instead (which will be riskier and require a new method), find a way to apparently float him around a little and maybe bounce him off the stage without harming him (which there really are convincing ways to do), only to finally crack him open and discover one of two signed dollar bills, borrowed and vanished at the start of the show, inside, with the other popping up in a lemon that otherwise magically appears (the lemon part happens now in the show that I already do).  Max Malini, a wildly successful 19th-20th century Polish magician, who performed very successfully for numerous members of international royalty and other global elites, among innumerable others, used to vanish two bills and reproduce them from an egg and a lemon, respectively, so what I'd like to do would be a skewed kind of tribute to that idea. Cracking open Humpty  to get the borrowed bill would also provide the delayed proof that the white thing I'd been fooling with for a minute or two was, in fact, a real egg, buy Zometa no prescription. But finding a way to quickly "uncrack" Humpty after the trick would likely be necessary as a quick coda, if, as I suspect it would, his crack up for the cause made some younger watchers sad. So that, to make a long story short (and as the old joke goes, I know it's way too late for that) is the magic I'd like to do with an egg.

So when I hear the word "egg" these days, some streak from the jumble above is what usually tumbles through my head. Once upon a time, I guess it was otherwise. Aren't you glad to be out of that loop. Glad that, as the silly ad never stops telling us, tricks are really for kids--not for those who, like the rabbit, are just too silly to quit.


Mr. Potato Head: faeryboots

Trix: jbcurio.

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